Sometimes we fall… In the dark moments, we realize the cavities in our character; thus, can root them out and begin the repair. My current focus is on expressing my feelings productively. So that I learn this lesson well, I have been given the pain of betrayal, plus the sting of inequity, and the agony of abandonment. In this, I realize my vulnerability to those I love and my emotional based reactivity.
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. – William Shakespeare, 1564-1616
At times I have allowed pain-filled rage to rule me. This behavior is learned, so can be unlearned. Now to remove the blemish and replace it with strength, wisdom, consistency. I enlist all the senses to make peace with the past and overcome hurt. It is said that through adversity one finds great growth…
The wonderful thing about character is that you can build it. And it is one of the few things in life that no one will ever be able to take away from you. Your choices are your own. Here are the steps I follow to build my ability to respond rather than react—even to the deepest emotional pain.
- Understand the reactivity. Look at past choices, observe feelings and actions. Identify triggers.
- Determine values that will guide me: Self Control, Respect, Caring, Courage, Responsibility … and Wisdom.
- Outline a set of tools to employ when upset. Consider every productive, healthy option. Things like: observe the feeling and respond to it, take a time out, talk with a friend or counselor, journal through the pain, go for a walk, get sleep, go within, cry.
- Decide behavior changes to align with my desired self. Be conscious of every decision, however big or small, and how each brings me closer to being the person I wish to become.
Occasionally still, I fall, though each time not so far, not so hard. Thrive.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
With experience spanning multiple industries and over many decades, Tamara Parisio brings a seasoned eye and a fresh perspective to find the opportunity in every challenge. With acute clarity, Tamara hones a marketing message for impactful, compelling communication across channels. Tamara’s optimism delivers a can-do approach to meet or beat expectations.
“My goal is to be ICONIC in what I do so that I can invest and spend resources as I desire to enrich the world! And I intend to give fabulous gifts to family and friends, wrapped in particularly pretty packages! … What’s yours? #ScriptYourShift” — Tamara Parisio, Strategic Wordsmith & Creative Director